February 13th, 2026
Today I made my first LinkedIn post update. I literally wrote what was on my mind, didn’t give it a second look, and (tried to) post it on LinkedIn. Tried because I was over the character limit by 400 so I did have to go back and skim read to edit a bit so I could post it. My goal is to brain dump then post. No rereading, no editing, just posting. Right now my goal isn’t to have the most polished or grammatically correct post. My goal is to just post. Be raw and authentic and the best way to do that in my opinion is to not overthink, not edit to death, not try to ‘sound good’ and just write what is on my mind and post it. So that’s what I did to the best of my ability. I did find myself trying to change up things a bit when I had to edit down. I changed a punctuation here, a word there, then realized that defeats the purpose. It was like it was second nature. I was doing it before I realized what I was doing. So moving forward, I will try to keep my updates short and sweet so no editing is needed!
February 13th, 2026
This week I struggled to stay focused. It is nothing new to me. I have these moments of extreme focus and discipline regarding distractions. And then I have these times where everything everywhere is happening all at once and I feel overwhelmed and cope by distracting myself. Nothing major happened this week. Not sure if it is a mix of hormones, lack of food, energy from others going through their own thing, etc. I know for a fact the frustration of being constantly tired and not being able to drink coffee (due to personal commitments) got to me. I did cave on the coffee to see if the tiredness I felt was truly due to the lack of caffeine. I can say the coffee did not help. It actually made it worse as I started being unable to focus while reading (a benefit I noticed when I was not drinking coffee) and I was overly sensitive to light. Now I know you must think, well you stopped there right, wrong. I decided maybe it wasn’t coffee I needed, it was an energy drink, a bang to be exact (only 1/4th of it). And I was right, kinda. Initially the bang made my stomach upset which is a no go, but the next day I felt great. Energized, focused, less of a headache. So now I am more confused than ever. On one hand I do not want to drink an energy drink due to the affect on my gut but on the other hand it helps me not feel the drowsiness I felt when I do not drink anything. Taking a nap didn’t help, drinking water didn’t help. The only thing I haven’t tried is a healthy diet and consistent exercise. Which I know is likely the answer and yet I am not there yet mentally to make that commitment. Excuse: I am still riding out the emotions of having to post weekly about my progress and being seen and when I am over that, then I will make working out and eating healthy a priority. Truth is I may never get over those emotions (unlikely but it still may take a long time) and I need to find a way to make these two a priority for me now. Figure out what that realistically looks like for me and make small changes to get there. That's it, that's all.
March 1st, 2026
This week marks the first week where I did not complete all of my tasks. I had a task to code a feature this week and I underestimated how difficult it would be. The circumstances this week: Travelled to Orlando to visit a friend from Friday afternoon until Sunday afternoon, had a by week from book club. Before I knew it, it was Wednesday and I felt like I hadn’t started anything. It seemed like every time I would have the time to study my brain wouldn’t let me whether it was from a headache or being tired and unable to process. Something has to change. I cannot squander this opportunity. I do not like the feeling of not completing a task. And for some reason, when it comes to coding, my brain refuses to absorb things past a certain point. I need to get back into my routine of meditating and having a clear mind to make it easier to focus and retain information. My sole purpose right now is learn programming. Nothing else. My plan tomorrow is to wake up at 5am, go to the gym, and meal prep clean food so that I can have an hour to study first thing in the morning, start my day off with a healthy win and hopefully energy, and have no excuses for health issues getting in the way of me focusing and getting things done. I noticed that my unhealthy eating habits trickle down into a headache, a stomach ache, or grogginess which affect my will power. It is only a few months, I will be okay with not eating something I am craving or going out to restaurants. I need to save as much money as possible anyway to extend the runway as long as possible. I am not going to spend time beating myself up. I know I can do better and I will do better. I have goals to reach and I refuse to stand in my own way.
March 6th, 2026
I realized this morning that I am no longer having fun. I am super stressed out. Now, this could be from the pressures of a deadline for the George Snow Scholarship reviews along with a new set of tasks that I have yet to start. But the realization has made me start the process of slowing down and not stress myself out with hitting these targets. As long as I keep progressing and having fun and being excited that is all that matters. I haven’t been able to retain anything because I have been so stressed about the fact that I need to complete these certain tasks by a certain time. I need to take a lighter approach so I am not hindering myself and I am still having fun. Have fun with it. Have fun with it!
This week I felt like I was going to break. I’ve been having tension headaches for a while. Caffeine helps but it is too overstimulating for me. Can’t do energy drinks because they put knots in my stomach. But without anything, I cannot think or focus. I remembered these brain focus gummies from Walmart. I took half and now I am super focused. I was able to wash both kids hair, braid my son’s, braid my husband’s, and complete all 3 of my tasks within 2 hours. I am hoping this is a lasting solution for me because raw dogging life while trying to pursue my goals with 2 kids and a husband is not viable!
